31-year-old mom of a 4 and 8-year-old tells her 42-year-old husband she doesn't want a 3rd kid because he doesn't take care of the kids they have, he insults her and storms off to his mother's house: 'I have no desire to be a single mom of a 3rd child'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jul 23, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

There are many valid reasons for not wanting more children. My parents stopped with 2 for a couple of reasons, mainly their age and the fact that my sister would've been horrible as a middle child. But once you already know what it's like to have 1, 2, 3, and 4 children, you might realize that your desire for a huge family isn't the most practical thing in the world. Kids are costly, and more than that, many of us are simply not up for the responsibility of having more children than we already have. You can only handle so much, and you want to be the best parent you can be for the kids that you've got. A hypothetical kid doesn't have needs that a real kid does. It can be fun to sit around and fantasize about having more kids, but if you're not the one who's going to be taking care of them, you don't have much of a say. 

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my husband that I don't want to be a single mom of three kids?

    So, my husband (42m) and me (31f) have been married for 12 years. We have two kids (8m and 4f).
    via u/Icy_Memory1247

  • The dad in this story shouldn't have a say in whether his wife has another baby because he's not a very good father. He barely interacts with his kids, and yet he is pressuring his wife to pop out another one for him.

  • 02
    Our marriage is not great. His mother and sister often give unsolicited advice on my parenting, our marriage and life in general. It is better in last few months, since I sit down my husband (multiple times), we talked and this time he listened, so they backed of. Not completely but it is better.
    via u/Icy_Memory1247
  • 03
    In last few weeks, husband started mentioning having a third child, which feels me with dread. I love children, always wanted a big family, but it would be too much. I cook, clean, take care of kids and work part time from home.
    via u/Icy_Memory1247
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10533311488
    via Blake Cheek (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    He doesn't really helps with house (which I am fine with) nor with kids (which is a problem). I changed all diapers, woke up at night, I take care of fevers, doctor appointments, school, playdates, everything. Mere thought of now going through another
    via u/Icy_Memory1247
  • 06
    pregnancy, than taking care of a baby makes me want to cry. I know I would have to do it all practically alone, because my husband "provides and women have been doing it for centuries, i should pull my weight and not be spoiled".
    via u/Icy_Memory1247
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10533304064
    via Nathan Dumlao

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08
    It all culminated last night. After another of his "I take great care of you and kids and we should have a third" monologues I snapped. I told him that he really doesn't. That kids barely know him, when he comes home from work, he doesn't pay attention to them, except to snap on our daughter when she is too loud.
    via u/Icy_Memory1247
  • 09
    He doesn't know anything about our days because he doesn't ask, and I stopped telling him, because he wasn't listening anyway. He is not great father nor husband as he likes to preaches, and I have no desire to be a single mom of a third child, two are quite enough, thank you.
    via u/Icy_Memory1247
  • 10
    He starred at me dumbfounded, that called me a c word, delusional and ungrateful then stormed out to his mother house. So, AITA?
    via u/Icy_Memory1247
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10533311744
    via engin akyurt

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 12
    Key Preparation_9231 NTA Tell him you already have a 3rd child, him.
    via u/Key_Preparation_9231
  • 13
    One-Constant-1677 I used to tell my husband that I had 8 kids. The four I was raising and him, because he was as much work as the kids combined.
    via u/One-Constant-1677
  • 14
    Adept Tension_7326 Stormed off to his mother's house. Say no more.
    via u/Adept_Tension_7326
  • 15
    Misstribe1973 Definitely NTA. I do wonder why you stay with him though. I read this a while back and honestly the person who wrote it was correct What was the biggest shock when you became a lone parent after splitting with your partner? My kids were 3, 6, 9 and 40. Once the 40-year-old moved out, my workload lightened so much it was stunning.
    via u/Misstribe1973
  • 16
    Sure, there were less dishes and laundry and general cr p around the house but the real workload, the telling him what he needed to be doing, following behind him and then doing it myself anyway, just vanished. I didn't have to check to see if he picked up the right kid at the right time, I didn't have to argue over who would stay home with a sick child, I didn't have to remember birthdays and anniversaries on his calendar... all I had to do was everything I had done all along. By myself.
    via u/Misstribe1973
  • 17
    The biggest change was my mood. I wasn't resentful or angry or making excuses for him anymore, I was just doing what needed to be done without all this extra baggage of trying to "teach" someone to be an adult or "coach" a fully grown man into how to take care of things that had to be done to raise a family. The most amazing thing?
    via u/Misstribe1973
  • 18
    Every Other Weekend I swear to God, I hadn't had two days to do whatever I felt like doing... maybe in my life. Definitely not in 10 years or so.
    via u/Misstribe1973
  • 19
    No worries. No listening for crashes or screams. No checking on kids every ten minutes or cleaning up spilled paint or limping from hidden Legos in the carpet. Two whole days. The very first weekend he took the kids, he brought them back early Sunday morning, looking stressed.
    via u/Misstribe1973
  • 20
    Did | Have ANY Idea?
    via u/Misstribe1973
  • 21
    I told him, I might know what that's like. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for over a decade, I knew exactly what it meant to be responsible for little lives and the things they get into. I yeeted that idea straight into the sun and he did finally learn how to manage three kids for two days. And I got blissful, guilt-free silence. To have a little slice of life. To do absolutely nothing, if I wanted.
    via u/Misstribe1973
  • 22
    There wasn't milk left out on the counter. There weren't muddy footprints up the carpeted stairs. There wasn't a leaky ceiling from a tub filled to the brim for ship wars. For two days, every two weeks. Best thing ever.
    via u/Misstribe1973
  • 23
    Intelligent_Might812 Well good for you. Also I'm pretty sure at 19 getting married to a 30 year old was a huge red flag.
    via u/Intelligent_Might812
  • 24
    tazbaron1981 Let him stay there. He isn't going to change. Do you want your kids growing up in this house?
    via u/tazbaron1981
  • 25
    Maine302 You married a 30-year old man when you were basically a child He thought he got what he wanted: a malleable partner who would obey him in a traditional marriage, and you weren't old enough to know better. NTA. Your husband is, for marrying a nineteen year old, thinking he could control her.
    via u/Maine302
  • 26
    Parviainebflokstra Maybe you should leave him with the kids for a week and take a break from the house and go to your family's... or go to Mexico and lay on the beach with a friend....see how he likes that. Then ask him if he still wants a 3rd kid. Just write down the schedule and a list of everything that needs to get done and say you will be back on this day. Have a great week hunny! Xoxo
    via u/Parviainebflokstra

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family drama entitled parents kids mother wife bad parenting bad parents parenting husband little kids family mom Parenting Fail parents children Parenting FAILS
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